One more week!!

One more week to wait and at last my trip gets some sort of shape. Last week I got offered a tour to the Kaldidalur highland area. I instantly loved this tour that got offered instead of Landmannalaugar. The idea to go glacierwalking, visiting a lava cave and two stunning waterfalls (Hraunfossar & Barnafoss) alongside some other sights made me drool. The name of Hraunfossar (Lavafalls) kept buzzing in my mind as if this is a place I HAVE to visit (is there any place in Iceland I wouldnt?). So I set my mind to this. But the next day the guide offered me a tour to Landmannalaugar. And that confused me because ever since I was a child I have had this dream to visit Hekla, and this tour would go to her summit. Well one of the many because Hekla is a fissure volcano system and therefore has more long stretched craters. But this was and still is a dream of me. With Hekla my Iceland lunacy started. My first school presentation was about Icelandic volcanos (mainly Hekla in my case). To be followed by Iceland general, Icelandic Horses, Vikings and then my school told me I was not allowed to have anymore Iceland related presentations....

Barnafoss (Childrensfall) I suppose...

I had a hard time choosing, but decided to stick with the Kaldidalur tour. Simply because of the crazy cold spring we have and probably can touch Iceland as well. Landmannalaugar is normally open from halfway June until end of August. Chances are rather big weather conditions would kill my dream. However this tour does not at all mind about a bit of snow, since it is with a superjeep. But they won't risk anything, and I know myself how devastated I can be if something I looked forward to is not going the way I planned it. I simply think the Kaldidalur tour is more weather safe. It is also highlands, and only accesable between June and August. I wont have to fear busloads of tourists here which is a huge relieve. And my tour is with max 6 people including guide. Which is perfect. But I realised too late I used a wrong calculation to value the Icelandic Kronar. It turned out to be a very expensive tour. But I trust it is worth the tranquility, personality and quality. I rather pay this price than 60 euro's for being crammed with 60 others in a bus.

But first I have a day tour horseriding. Without beginners :-) And hopefully and I suppose with some spare horses walking alongside in a herd. Because I know they normally wont ride a horse for longer than 2 hour, and my tour is 5-7 hours depending on the weather and directions. I am very curious to this one. It has been over 10 years since I rode 7 hours in one go. My longest ride after that was just 1 1/2 hour... but with the comfort of the Icelandic Horse I am not afraid. Besides that last 7 hour ride I did after not ride for 6 years due to an accident I had. I survived and it was on a lovely playfull stallion. I just hope the weather will be ok. 7 hours of rain is no fun, but the rainsuits are better than my own I had to 10 hours rain in Thorsmork. ;-) 

So now I have 3 tours and 2 whole days off to do whatever I wish to do. Exploring Reykjavik a bit more. I wanted to use it to rent a car and go out on my own, but I encountered some serious financial struggles which scare me. I am afraid I can't do anything anymore when in Iceland than just do the tours, be there and live the day on breakfasts energy. :-( But on the other hand I am happy I took this risk to take this holiday now instead of Autumn. Because the future looks grimm, and my plan to do a round up has never been further out of reach than now. Especially since I need to book it in time, due to populairity an it being in the same week as Icelandic Movie festival which is rather populair also by foreigners. This might be the last time I visit Iceland if life continues the way I left it when going to Iceland. :-( And to be honest I even feel Iceland is the only thing that can keep me alive. My life has no meaning without it. And that is just what bounds me to this mighty land that is so full of loneliness, stretching its glacial arms, mountains, rocks and waterfalls out to the world, to be touched by its magic. It is the only place I know so far that can equal my heartbeat in its rhythm. It is the place I could be until eternity, staring at the ever changing horizons, being poured over by snow, rain, dust, ashes, storms and a few sunbeams. To submerge in its waters and go with the flows, down waterfalls, icecubes, hotstreams all the way to the oceans. To be covered in darkness just to be lightened up by millions of stars and dancing auroras (if weather permits). To dance with the whales and fly with the puffins. To ever roam the meadows, accompanied by sheep and horses, not seeing humans, but feel one with the elements that surround me. Or being taken over by hot lava, or trushed out by geisirs into the sky. My Icelandic imaginary is very alive you see ;-)

I dream on and already dislike to know my ticket has 2 dates on it. One day it will only have 1. Until that moment I just dream of all the things and beauty I still want to visit in Iceland. However I know a bucketlist makes no sense, because I want to see everything in every season in every type of weather. I guess I just want to follow my dream to find myself a horse and explore the country together. If only that dream can come true. Luckily I believe in dreams, and magic.

2 More weeks....

Oh I am getting more and more ready to return again. Would I have ever thought visit Iceland 2 times a year? In my most harshest times of my life? Nope... but I do believe in miracles.
Still working out my way to plan and see what I want but mainly can do. So much to see, so much I want to do. But life restrictions keep me bounded to stay that kid in the candy store that has her hands tied to her back, being told to only see, smell and feel. But for me that is enough. Any small connection to Iceland is for me enough to let me be free from the madness and sorrow that tries to influence my life.

My only 2 things scheduled so far are a longer horse ride. Now I go for a 5 hour ride, which I terribly look forward to. I miss my forlegged counterparts in my life. And it is weird that I can't afford riding, but spend a fortune to go riding far away. But give me a choice between one year riding lessons and a 5 day trip to Iceland, and I choose the last. I'm curious to this experience at another place. I loved Laxness Farm, but was afraid to end up with tourists, so I choose a longer more experienced tour this time. At least I would think to expect to have a bit more power into the ride. I had at Laxnes but my experience with guiding tours myself could not let me go to keep eyes and most of all my worries about the others stumbling around and in my opinion mentaly disgrace the horses. I hope this time I will have my go and better weather. But am very aware that April might not be as gentle and nice as my autumn trip has been. Depsite the rain, April might be much colder. But it is Iceland, I can't know what to expect until it is time.

Then, I also have my northern light tour. Last autumn it was cancelled over and over again. But I didn't get my refund. And then I thought why not give it a try for my next trip, and retrieve my money if Friday it still did not happen. I cannot afford the car to drive out a little bit. Nor am I doubtfree about the fact finding my way back home without getting into trouble ;-) I know myself.... even with navigation.

Then of course my main reason to go to Iceland. The Horse Festival. Looking at the program I am afraid it will pass me by completely. Not much going on except for visiting farms (which I can't because of no car) and the main thing being on Saturday on which I am being sad back at home. It is a pitty.... sometimes I am such a mess. But I will enjoy myself, and hopefully also being able and maybe succesfull finding a job over there. I more and more regret I never took my chance years ago when I got it. I could have been happy in Iceland for many many years already. And now, in these days jobs there get scarse, everybody wants to go there. But it is typically me to let chances untouched. Last year I made the promise to myself to never ever let that happen again. No horse will leave my life if it is meant to be in it. No job offer will be unconsidered if it comes to me. No cookie will be refused when given, and no interesting guy paying interest be ignored. It is time to stop being blind for my path of life. So... I will be happy going to Iceland and do whatever I can to work on my dreams. But mainly preparing for some things that have been running like crazy through my mind for a loooong time. So I guess about next year if circumstances allow me, I for once have to let go my pride and visit Iceland in June. For midsummer camping, Landsmot, see puffins and get really pissed off and frustrated by all the tourists. And Iceland knows what more. The only 2 dreams I cannot control are seeing a volcano eruption and true mindblasting northern light displays. I guess that involves a long term stay in Iceland. But no worry one of my maindreams is to stay at least 3 months in Iceland in one go. It HAS to happen, it is something that is on my mind for centuries. I want to cross Iceland, and most likely on horseback mainly. On a horse that is mine, which I will keep. And that is a mission that takes a lot of preparations. Not in the least place to find this horse that I think has a spirit to do this dream with me.

Why is it that I always start to dream when I write or think about Iceland??? I guess the Icelandic inspiration flows far and wide. I may not be Icelandic. But I think my connection to the land and the Earth we live on, helps me to get this naturally inspiration that is in all that was born and created on Iceland. Bringing this wonderfull music and artistic skills into the world. Though I must say I lack any taste for arts, I simply don't like it. Also not the Icelandic. Except for the art of Nature itself. But what I do value is the fact that I feel and see Icelandic inspiration comes from the restless Earth.

But.... 2 weeks before I go again. Nerve wrecking. I wish it was tomorrow. I know time will fly quickly, because I feel like it was yesterday when I said it was still 4 weeks to go. But I have this kind of feeling this trip can be life changing. Not in the least place that I notice I leave decisions & commitments for April. I have this gloomy feeling I am more able to do when I return back home.

Who knows.... for now I start dreaming clearer and slowely but steadily prepare. Iceland I missed you terribly... how rough will it be this time to go back home? I shiver when I think of the flight, even the plane seemed to be not amused to leave its origin. This time I will take some tranquilisers, last thing I need is to turn afraid to fly, a psychic thing I fully understand now... Afraid to fly would mean I won't go to Iceland anymore, because by boat is too expensive and as you imagine, it won't be comfortable either during stormy tides in autumn....